The monthly Flagging in the Park experiences in the National AIDS Memorial are stunning gatherings and displays of reflection, connection, and love. Surrounded by nature’s resilience, the events celebrate the lives we continue to live while remembering the ones of those we’ve lost.
Xavier Caylor selflessly devotes his time to organizing Flagging in the Park events throughout the Spring and Summer. Ahead of the June 8th, 2025, event, Xavier discussed the meaning of Flagging in the Park and the importance of hosting it in a space like the National AIDS Memorial Grove.
1. What makes Flagging in the Park meaningful to you?
There are so many reasons why Flagging in the Park holds deep meaning for me. At its heart, FITP is a healthy and welcoming space for our tribe to come together in moving meditation - whether that’s through the flow of flags, quietly taking in the beauty of others in motion, revisiting the magic of the music, or connecting through shared stories.
It’s also a vital part of keeping the art of flagging alive here in the Bay Area, especially as fewer clubs and venues cater to our community. FITP gives us a place to be visible, to celebrate, and to honor the lineage of movement and music that brought us here.
And beyond that, it’s a showcase for some of the most incredible artisans, our DJs, who bring joy and depth to each event. The fact that we do all this while raising funds for charity? That’s just amazing.
2. How would you describe the relationship between Flagging in the Park and the National AIDS Memorial Grove?
Flagging in the Park and the National AIDS Memorial Grove share a relationship rooted in reverence, healing, and joy. For the past 20 years, I’ve had the honor of partnering with the Grove, and their unwavering support has been nothing short of extraordinary.
We’re incredibly fortunate to host our events in what I truly believe is the most beautiful, sacred space in San Francisco. The Grove holds the memory of those we lost to AIDS, and it offers a space for reflection, connection, and love. Bringing our community together there - dancing, flagging, moving in meditation - is a powerful act of living remembrance.
I see FITP as a way of honoring the past while celebrating the present. Together with the Grove, we’ve created a tradition that embodies healing, artistry, and community spirit. It’s a relationship I cherish deeply.
3. What is one (or some) of your favorite moments from Flagging in the Park at the National AIDS Memorial Grove?
There have been so many unforgettable moments at Flagging in the Park, it’s hard to choose just one. But what stays with me most are the deeply human, often life-affirming stories that unfold when people enter the Grove during our events.
One that stands out was a man recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer who came to the Grove feeling resigned to his fate. Experiencing FITP - the joy, the movement, the music - sparked something in him. He told us that being there made him want to live. That kind of moment reminds me why we do this.
I’m also incredibly moved during the "turn and talk" portion of each event. People often approach me or other producers afterward to share the memories or realizations that surfaced during those conversations. It’s a reminder of the depth and healing that can happen when we hold space for each other.
Our production team goes on their own personal journeys, too. FITP gives people a chance to step up, serve, and discover that they have something real to offer. It encourages vulnerability and leadership - and that openness invites others to do the same.
And then there are the folks who’ve avoided the Grove for years because of the pain it holds. Some tell us FITP gave them the opportunity to finally come, to begin reckoning with their grief in a space that feels alive and hopeful.
Of course, there’s also the joy of watching someone try flagging for the first time, seeing that moment when they find their flow, or hearing gasps of wonder from people just walking through. It’s all of that together that makes this event so meaningful.
4. Why do you think it's important for Flagging in the Park to take place in a space like the National AIDS Memorial Grove?
The National AIDS Memorial Grove isn’t just a backdrop, it’s an essential part of the experience. It’s a living memorial, lovingly maintained by thousands of volunteers over the years, and that care is felt in every corner of the space. The lush landscaping, the mature trees standing tall through decades of change, the quiet strength of the land itself - all of it holds us in beauty, remembrance, and peace.
Hosting Flagging in the Park in this sacred place brings layers of meaning to the event. We are surrounded by nature’s resilience, dancing in a space that honors those we’ve lost while also celebrating the lives we continue to live. It’s a place of healing, of reflection, and of joy. The Grove allows us to be held in memory, but not defined by grief; to gather, move, and connect in a way that feels grounded, sacred, and full of life. There truly is no other place like it.
Host an Event in the National AIDS Memorial Grove
From weddings and spiritual gatherings to corporate events and memorial services, the National AIDS Memorial Grove hosts events throughout the year for those who believe the beauty and/or power of the space would lend well to their gatherings.
